ITZINU: Empowering Women's Mindset and Confidence in MIDLIFE

#173: How to overcome Self Sabotage

• Renae Elliott • Season 1 • Episode 173

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 In this podcast, we delve into the concept of self-sabotage, a common challenge that many individuals face in their personal and fitness journeys. I discuss how self-sabotage manifests in various forms such as quitting early, emotional eating, or succumbing to stress. 

 Understanding that self-sabotage is deeply rooted in our beliefs and not merely a lack of willpower or motivation. By recognising and shifting these beliefs, You can take meaningful action towards your goals. 

 I also introduce practical exercises and analogies to help you identify and change your limiting beliefs, ultimately leading to long-term success. 

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 POD173: How to Overcome Self Sabotage

Hi guys. So today I want to talk a little bit about self sabotage. So it is something that all of us struggle with on some level and it is generally like a natural default. Um, but it doesn't mean for a lot of us, but it doesn't actually mean that we have to live this way forever. Are you somebody that recognizes that you have had Have you self sabotaged in the past?

Is that something that have you have done? How does it actually show up for you? Because everyone's different. I asked a few people and these are some of the things that they had to say that self, how self sabotage turned up for them. So some people said that they quit as soon as they didn't get the results fast enough.

And then after they maybe ate a meal and they. ate over what they perceived were their correct calories, then had to convince themselves that they would have to lower the calories, restrict the next day and then, or over exercise. Some people let, they create self sabotage, or they self sabotage by letting the number on the scale affect their, um, dictate if they're doing well or not, or affect them and their progress.

Another one was said that they were standing in front of the pantry and just eating after work, uh, stress eating, but just, just eating, eating, eating for no, you know, real, they weren't really that hungry. Then people, a lot of people said that they do really well during the weekdays. And then when it comes to the weekend, they blow out and then they feel that they have to start again on the Monday and the cycle continues that way.

For some, they also talked about having strong cravings. After eating and then eating so overindulging and eating so fast that you don't even recognize that you're eating and then you still feel unsatisfied. So self sabotage turns up in lots of different ways for all of us. And these are just some of the ways that they do work.

that they do show up. And to a degree I think some people are, you are, there is a level of awareness of when you're doing this and um, but the hardest part is really trying to figure out how to solve it. And this to help you with today. And this is obviously where lots of women get stuck. So they get stuck, they know that they're, that there's things that they're doing, so they know that they're maybe binge eating.

Uh, they know that they get to the weekends and then they overindulge or they might recognize that they emotionally eat. But as much as they know what they're doing, they actually don't know how to solve it. And the first thing is I really want you to start thinking about is, um, is that we have been fed kind of this lie our whole lives for, for so many different reasons.

But for so many years, we've been told, you know, that you, that you can't lose weight unless you do these things or, um, that, um, you have, you can't stop eating sugar, you know, because, um, because it's addictive in order to lose weight. You just have to simply Try harder and work harder. So we've been fed, we've been fed these things throughout our whole life.

And you probably don't even know that that's ingrained in you, that the reasons that you're not getting the results you want is because that you just, you just need to try harder and, um, that you need to have more willpower in order to get these results. Or they feel that you don't have enough motivation in order to get the results that you want to.

And if you just had a little bit more motivation and a bit more willpower, then you would be able to overcome these challenges. Self sabotaging cycle that I guess a lot of us women tend to have not just women, you know, anyone in general and It just gets me so upset that we start to believe this and people feel they've got to just work They just have to you know, whoa Well, I just have to eat less and I have to you know Have more willpower and you know, why don't I still have the same willpower that I had, you know When I was pregnant 20, you know, to, to just not eat, you know, to not eat or to not overeat.

And, um, it's just simply not true. It is total crap. And it is, uh, it is just not the way that it is in that you have to act in order to get a result or in order to lose weight or be whatever shape or size that you want to be. You don't have to try harder, you don't have to just have more willpower or find some different type of motivation.

Not at all. And it is not the solution. So the solution is not that you just have to try harder to stop binge eating or that, you know, you have to try harder to stop emotionally eating any of these things. So so often I see this as a solution that women, they try to do this and it doesn't work and they try to feel it.

They just have to try harder or they have to just restrict for a bit longer or any of those things. And then they see that it doesn't work. And then they stop beating themselves up. And then they feel that they're, they are the problem. And can I tell you one thing? You are not the problem at all. There's nothing to do.

You are not the problem. So today I want to talk about where self sabotage comes from. Okay. And I've coached so many women through this process of trying to overcome self sabotage. And, uh, you know, you see lots of the same things turn up for the same. Uh, for the same women, not to mention the members of my classes that we've been helping over the last 10 or so years that I've been running my classes, um, to help them come over this self sabotaging.

Uh, so, you know, it is, it is something that I have lots of experience in helping people with. The process is, you know, like with people working towards their goals. And I see the same things happening over and over again, that these women, that everyone, they, they have the knowledge, they know what they should be doing.

And they, they understand they're, you know, that in order to lose weight. There's these things I need to do, but then it gets to this point that they start and they stop. Um, they might see a little bit of results and, um, but you know, they can't keep it up and then they feel that they've failed and then it is a real vicious cycle or a pattern.

And if this is a pattern that you are resignating with, um, you are definitely not alone. And if you feel like you're resonating it because you have set a goal and you really, really want to achieve it and you know you want to get there and then you get started and you do really well at the start because you're, you know, we're feeling that bit motivate, you know, our motivation levels are higher.

And then something crazy happens in our life and maybe your kids get sick. Maybe, um, you have to go away for something. Maybe there's some different stresses at work, any of those things. And as much as you want it to stay on track, you know, you want it to stay on track, but you can't because of this situation that's happened in your life.

And then you feel like you've failed. So then we give up. And, um, and then the pattern starts again. And I've seen this many, many times. And then, um, I want you to ask yourself a question. So I want you to think about what do you think that is holding you back? Uh, I want you to think about that. And if you are journaling or keeping that, it would be good to write this down.

We think, we think as well, when we're, you know, when you're in this cycle, you think, well, why can't I just do it? I really want the results. Why can't I just do it? And, or you might think to something you previously, well, I did it 20 years ago. The question today is what keeps. like a smart, intelligent woman from crossing the line to your health and fitness goals.

And, um, the real answer is you. So we are, we are all holding ourselves back in, um, some, some way. And this is really, really what I want you to understand by the end of today's session. Firstly, I want you to understand how you can be holding yourself back and how you can change it. So firstly, I want you to understand that self sabotage, it doesn't come from a lack of motivation.

It doesn't come from a lack of willpower or a lack of you. So self sabotage. It's just like a flower. So I'm going to use the analogy of a flower. And it manifests, so your self sabotage manifests from, um, mental blocks. And the key thing to these mental blocks is you don't even know that they're there.

And there's these things there that are so that we haven't even realized that they're there. And these are the things that are holding us back. We're going to imagine. So I'm saying the self sabotage is like a flower. So we've got this field. So I'm going to imagine this field and the field, uh, you see all these beautiful flowers and they're all blooming and they're all different colors and they're so beautiful.

But what, you know, we're all looking at this field and it's beautiful. So what's the thing that you don't see? when you're looking at the field. We don't see what is underneath the surface, so we can't see the roots of the flowers, so we can only see the tops. So you can see the flower and if we reference this, to self, to, uh, so the top of the flower is self sabotage.

And we know that, you know, so your self sabotaging might turn up for you as in overeating, emotionally eating, but we can't see what causes us, causes this to happen because we can't see the roots of the self sabotage. We're only looking at the roots. the surface of it. I want to get rid of my self sabotage.

So, you know, I emotionally eat, so I'm going to get rid of it. So I'm going to go through the field and I'm going to pick all the tops of the flowers. So I'm going to go pick all the tops of the flowers and I'm going to get rid of them. And then I look, I look through the field and, um, I can't see the flowers anymore.

So that's it. I've done it. I've got rid of my self sabotage. You know, I, I got rid of all those, all those flowers and it, for a few weeks, it does really well for me. I do really well. Then I come back. to this field a couple of weeks later and what do I see? The flowers have all grown back. They're all, they're all back to blooming flowers again.

And this is what a lot of us are doing. We, you know, we say that we're going to do something or we say the, say on the weekend, we're not going to overindulge on the weekend. And then, um, you know, so then we, we say that. And we pick the head of the flower, so to speak, and we think we've solved it. And then in a few weeks times, the same thing happens.

And we, we are straight back to where we are. And we, we overindulged on the weekend. And then again, we think I got, I thought I got rid of that. And it keeps coming back. And that same cycle continues and continues. And the reason that keeps coming back is because there's something deeper. There's something deeper that we need to be looking at.

And this is the mental blocks. And, uh, they're invisible to you and you cannot see these blocks. And what you see, what you are seeing is the effects of these blocks. So that's how the self sabotage is turning up for you. And it's this stopping and starting and feeling guilty and not good enough and how come I can't just try harder.

It's all of these things that you feel, uh, is not working for you, but the cause is actually something deeper. So any results that you're looking for, they're going to come from taking action. And so let's say we study for a test and then we, when we study, we're going to get a certain result. And if you don't study for a test, then you're going to get different results.

And we know that the action that you're taking on your health and fitness journey, uh, will produce the results that you want. And because of this, many people focus their attention on the action, on the doing. So I need to go to the gym. I need to, um, you know, drink more water. I need to eat these rights of foods and track my macros.

I need to get rid of sugar, all of these things. So we're focusing on all of these actions, but. Has anyone ever stopped or have you ever stopped to think where do these actions actually come from? These actions, the actions that you take actually come from beliefs. The beliefs The beliefs are the roots that you can't see.

So these beliefs are the roots of the flowers in this field that we, we just, we just got rid of the top, but these are the roots that we need to start looking at. And these beliefs shape your actions and your actions shape your results. So this means that the mental blocks that we're talking about, they're at the root level at the belief.

If you've been someone who has just been focused on the action all the time in the past, it's totally not your fault because there it's really, the action is really easy to sell and to be marketed to that way because, um, you know, do this plan, follow this plan, uh, do this workout. You know, you know, eat like this all the time, cut out this food, all of those things, they're all actions.

And it's really, really easy for them to sell and to market them for you. And these things, you might even get results for a little bit. So you might start to see some results. For some reason, it doesn't stick when in actual, it, it doesn't stick, or you can't stick to it. And then again, it's not your fault at all.

It's just because. that we were working on the actions rather than working on the thing that was driving the action. And it's the beliefs that is the thing that is driving your action. So what will actually start to shift these behaviors? So what can we do to actually start to shift these behaviors and to get down to the roots and to start shifting those beliefs and identify those beliefs that you have created?

So now I'm going to help you uncover some of those beliefs. And I'm going to ask you a question. So I want you to write this down and I want you to pause the video and take a bit of time to think about it. So I want you to answer this question is losing weight is hard because now please pause the video.

Don't be one of those that just doesn't write things down and just, you know, just fast forward through things, uh, pause the video and spend the time and do the work. Okay. So I want you to write down. The answer to losing weight is hard because different people, I hopefully you have unpaused me and you have written the things down, but different people have written things like it's losing weight is hard because I have kids, uh, because my work is really busy because I don't have the time, um, because it just never sticks.

Uh, it's hard because I'm over 40. Um, it's hard because I love sugar. It's hard for me because I really, really like food. So that's all, that's some examples of what some people have written. But what I really, really want you to consider is that everything you wrote down after the word because was actually a belief, was actually just a belief.

And some of these beliefs are at the roots to why you don't have the results that you want. To work this, to work through this, I'm going to go back and I'm going to give you what the definition of a belief is. A belief is simply a thought that you continue to think over and over again. And in fact, that, uh, you've continued to think this for so many times that you actually don't question it anymore.

And you think that it's just the way that the world is. That, um, so you might then start, you believe that I can't lose weight because I have kids. I can't lose weight because I just love sugar too much. And it's, it's this thing that is these beliefs that you told yourself over and over again, that you now just believe it as true.

But this doesn't have to be the way. So what if all these beliefs, they're just stories. You see them that they're just stories that you're telling yourself. So, so now you don't see them as, um, you don't see them as a belief. You actually see it as fact. The thing about beliefs is they don't show up as beliefs.

They show up as facts and that's just the way the world is. You might be looking at me and you might be thinking, well, you know, Renee, I've written down these things and they are, they are an actual fact, you know, that's, that's not true for me. So, you know, you could be like, well, I'm, I have an auto immune condition, so I can't lose weight because of that.

I have, um, I'm going through menopause, so I can't lose weight for that reason either. So again, these, these are facts and they are things that you might be going through or things that you might have, but I really, really want you to consider, uh, how we trick ourselves. So we trick ourselves because we don't actually finish the sentence.

Okay. So, um, so the question that I asked you before, we're adding onto it. So we, the question I asked you before was losing weight is hard because, and then I want you to finish the sentence with, and that means, okay. So losing weight is hard because, and that means. So we're going to finish this sentence.

So I want you to pause me again and write what you think that that means. So people could say, um, that they can't lose weight and, um, because they have children and that means I'm too old and that means it's too late for me to try. So they could be, they could be some things, but again, I want you to, to, uh, consider it.

That all of these, these could be some beliefs that are holding you back. And if you have anything like you, that you feel is stopping you, so it could be, uh, things like, I can't lose weight because I have kids. I can't lose weight because I don't have the time. You know, then there's so many examples of stories of people who have multiple kids and they've been able to lose weight or maintain their weight or cut out sugar or do whatever the things that they're looking to do.

There's multiple examples of people that have lost weight while working full time. Uh, lots of people that have lost weight while having autoimmune conditions or through menopause or any of those other things. So these are beliefs that you have. They're not. They, they doesn't have to be your reality if you don't want it to be.

It's, it's just these stories that we've told ourselves over time and time that we feel it's, that we feel it's reality. So hopefully we're starting to debunk some of them. It's not a matter of age, history, circumstances, and it's not the reason that you cannot, uh, see the results you want. The results The reason that you can't see the results you want is because that this is what you believe that it means about you.

So what you think or believe about yourself will impact your experience of it. And when we think about it, it's really, really powerful. And it is something that I, um, I really work hard to always How, how I believe a situation to be or how I, uh, want something to be. And, um, I really think your thoughts create your reality.

So, you know, again, I'll repeat it. So what you think or believe about yourself will impact your experience of it. Uh, I've talked a lot about this before in, um, You know, we talk, we go through a lot of this in some of the programs I have. I know some people will come up with things and they go, well, common questions that people come up with.

And they say, well, what about genetics? Well, you know, I want to explain. So you think, well, I'm, this is my genetics. So I'm, my genetics are overweight. This is how I have to be as well. And, um, I want you to see the, explain the difference between fact and interpretation. And this again, so yes, there is a fact that you have certain genetics.

That is a fact, but you're interpret, but you're interpreting these facts to meaning X, Y, Z. And this then becomes an excuse, um, for what is possible for you. And I'm not discounting science because science is real. And, uh, what is really important is how the science impacts you and what you believe about the science.

and how you use it to get, uh, to get real results. So I want to ask you, I want you to ask yourself this question. If you continue to think that losing weight is hard, how and, um, how would this shape your actions? Because, because this, um, because of this, how is it going to then impact your results? So if you believe that losing weight is hard, and it can only be done in a certain, uh, way, I guess through over exercise restriction, cutting out everything possible, then that's how it's going to show up to you.

If you believe it's a horrible journey that I'm not ready to start it because I'm not ready to go through that. I'm not ready to go out and socialize with my friend. I'm not ready to cut out on all of that stuff or to cut out alcohol to cut out. I'm not ready for all of that. Then that's, that's how it's going to show.

If you think that losing weight isn't fun and, and it has to be something that's really hard, then again, that's how it's going to show up for you. How can we start shifting those beliefs? Because if you also believe that losing weight will be enjoyable, then it can show up that way also. So we have to start, so how can um, how can we start shifting those beliefs is we need to start recognizing.

And so how you see your goals. your results, the progress you're getting, is how it's going to show up for you. So you see that your progress will only happen when it, you know, it's really hard, it's something that you have to take a big toll on your body, and you have that, and that's the only way that you'll get a result, then that's how it's going to show up for you.

Um, but you could also see it as a totally different way. The whole process can be something that's fun. It can be something that you can still socialize. You can still eat lots of food. You could still even have some sugar. It's all, it can be that way. If we start to see it in that way. And it really comes down to thinking, um, what have you been telling yourself previously?

Uh, what are, what's the stories that you've been telling yourself about losing weight and, uh, how it shows up. So what are the stories that you've been telling yourself over and over again? If you're thinking, if you are thinking that losing weight is going to be difficult, so like I've said, this is how it's going to show up.

And it comes down to figuring out what you've been telling yourself for a long time. And you've been telling yourself this, the stories that you've been telling yourself, and uh, this is how it's showing up, and what results have you been getting from telling yourself that. You know, you've been telling yourself this, you've not been seeing results and then realizing that this could be the, uh, the exact reason that it's, this is how it's showing up for you.

So we want to stop, uh, questioning all, we want to stop, um, we, we stop questioning the beliefs because we believe them just to be true. So we believe it to be fact, but we want to, um, We want to start debunking them. So we want to start questioning what our beliefs are and, um, and see how that could change how our results turn out.

So when we've been surrounded by something that you've been telling yourself, For a really, really, really long time. You, we, we don't even see it as a belief in anymore. It just becomes reality. There's a story of, you know, um, two fish like swimming. One fish says to the other fish, you know, Oh, I see the water's really clear today, you know, and this other fish says, What's water?

He doesn't even recognize that he lives in water because it just becomes normal to him. And these are what these, the leaves sometimes become like for us, they just become so normal that we actually don't know any difference. So, and we do all this stuff, we have all these thoughts and these beliefs and we don't even realize it.

And they can be some things that have been ingrained in us from when we were children. And we stop, we stop questioning them, we stop questioning whether they're true or they're not true. And um, and now, now that we can start questioning it and thinking about it and recognizing some of the beliefs we have, we can start poking holes in it.

And we can then start to rethink about what is actually possible and what this actually means for us. And then we can start to realize that anything is possible. Everything is possible. You could be whatever shape, size, muscle, build you want to be at whatever age. We just have to start focusing, changing these beliefs or our belief system to believing that, you know, and seeing that it is very, very possible.

So I hear it saying, okay, okay. I understand. I get this Renee. It's all good. But, um, but how do you actually fix it? So how do we solve the problem? So I want you to know that, um, by actually identifying the problem and recognizing that they could, that these belief systems, um, that we want to maybe work through them or realize, think about are they true or not is actually about 60 percent of the work.

Because up until this point, you just thought it was true. So up until this point, you believed that everything that we believed, uh, was true. And now that we're starting to bring this awareness and we're seeing. Uh, that we don't have to be restrictive in order to lose weight. We don't have to cut out all sugar and be crazy.

And, um, you don't have to give up on all the foods that you love. That, that you don't have to do all these things. You know, with the belief that we did have to do that. No wonder you're not getting results. But the first step is, uh, into Defeating the self sabotage is bringing down these beliefs, bringing down these beliefs that are causing your behavior.

I'm going to work through like one common belief that people have, and it will give you an example of how you can start to work through your own. You know, or we work, you know, I work together with people and we work through this together in my program, like the Little Black Dress Project. But, um, So one really common belief that people have is, well if it hasn't worked for me before, um, it's not going to work for me this time.

I've tried however many times over the years, why would this time be different? Uh, have you ever felt that way? I'm sure, um, we could all put our hands up and say, you know, and it's crazy how many of us let the past detect the future. Um, the past predict the future. Now, since we now understand the power of our beliefs and how they could be the things that might be holding us back.

And if you keep telling yourself that the past will predict your future, then how do you think that's going to shape your actions? So before you've even started, you've already told yourself you can't do it. Well, I tried a program before and it didn't work. I tried to do this and it didn't work. You already know that, um, you aren't going to be successful.

And, uh, so why would you even bother to try? So, we're letting our past, we're letting our past behaviour predict our future. And we're not even trying, we're not even starting because Well, when I previously did this, this is what I did. And if you believe that you weren't going to be successful, then why would you get up?

If you believe you weren't going to achieve it, then why would you even get up and go to the gym? You know, why would you prep, you spend the time to prep your food? Why would you, um, why would you even try when you already knew or you'd already decided that you were going to fail? Why? I don't know. I wouldn't.

Why would you even try? Why would you even, Do anything if you knew it eventually wasn't going to work, you knew you were going to fail and and most people are um This they're scared of failure and sometimes that being scared of failure stops them from even starting So you're going to probably see what it's going to cost you if we keep Continuing to think this way and, um, you know, and this is when you can see that is a choice and you have a choice.

So you are choosing to think that it's never going to work because you've tried it before and you failed. You can now recognize that this is a belief. Now it's becoming a choice. So you can see that, uh, you can continue, you can understand that these are beliefs and these beliefs don't have to be fact.

And you can continue to keep telling yourself that and you have the choice in what you choose. Uh, what you choose, how you believe things, because if we can continue to tell yourself that your past, uh, predicts your future and you can, you will continue to repeat this, um, over yourself and then your future will be no different from what your current reality is.

So we keep telling ourself this over and over and you're in exactly the same position as you are now. And like I said before, so many of us are so scared of failing. And that we never give it a try anyway. That we, um, we don't even want to start because what happens if we start doing something and I don't do it right?

What happens if I start a new program and, and I can't finish it? What happens if I start to quit sugar but then I have sugar? So they don't even start anymore because they don't want to fail. But what about if I, um, have you ever considered that by not starting that's the failure? You've created that reality that you're so scared of by not even starting.

So by not even starting, that's where you've actually failed. And it's costing you so much. Why are you still, why are you still here in this same, you're here in the same position because we're letting this fear hold us back. This fear of failure. And it's costing you more than it's costing you so much more than you realize of, you know, of, if you are not happy with your body, not happy, the shape you're in, not happy of your health, it's stopping you from spending time with your kids, it's stopping you from going out and doing activities, it's holding you back when it's all things that you can change and that you can make such a difference to your life if we just take this one little step forward.

And the reason why most of us doing this is because that most of us are self sabotaging, um, is because there is some form of a secondary gain. So while it's holding you back from achieving your goals and those things, but there is some gain that you were getting by doing this. So this is the next concept that I want to bring to you.

So our first was the thinking about our beliefs and how our beliefs shape our reality and how we could maybe look at changing those beliefs and changing those beliefs into, um, into something that is aligned with our goals or recognize that they don't have to, they're not set in stone. The next thing is that everything that we do, we are getting some secondary gain in some way.

They're giving us some form of a benefit. So we're holding on to these beliefs and we're not going to keep holding on to them unless there is something that we're getting from that. Generally for a lot of people it's to do with safety. So safety and staying in this comfort zone and staying in that comfort zone all the time.

a goal that somebody has. So whether it's a health goal, uh, any of those things, it's generally something that's outside of the comfort zone. And, um, the thing to remember is if you were in your, if, if anything that you wanted to achieve was in your comfort zone, you would already be there. So anything that is a goal is going to be that little bit out of the comfort zone.

And we tell us, we have all these beliefs that we're telling ourselves all the time, um, that we can't do this because I'm a sugar addict, or I'm a perfectionist, uh, or I'm too old, or I'm going through menopause. You know, on anything I've tried, it never works for me. And, you know, the, uh, the benefit for, for telling ourself these stories is that it's keeping us safe.

So it's keeping us in our comfort zone. It's, it's meaning we don't have to actually do the work that we can just stay where we are and we can stay comfortable and we don't have to risk that, uh, take that risk of failure. And, uh, so the results, The result is that you never, that you never change, that you never get the results you want because we keep these same beliefs and these beliefs are the things that are keeping us safe, but they're also the ones that are keeping you stuck.

This belief or this, you know, this, uh, staying in our comfort zone, uh, is not allowing us to get the results you want because we're never going to step outside of that comfort zone because we want to stay safe. Um, but when we start to shift these beliefs. To like, I can do this. I am strong. I like sugar and I'm going to be in control of it.

I can do this with small changes, you know, when we start to shift these beliefs and shift how we think. think about how we talk about them. Uh, you know, a lot of people say, um, I tend to have a perfectionist quality. I, I'm a perfectionist. Uh, you know, that's when people say, I can't disconnect, but you could change your wording to, uh, I tend to have perfectionist quality.

And then we start to look at how we, we are talking to ourselves and what's the stories that we are telling ourselves. Um, that we're only able to get the results when, um, if I can do this. We want to step to get the result. We want to start to, uh, start to, to learn to step out of that comfort zone. The future that you want.

So then the new reality that you want. is out of that comfort zone. The thing, the thing to understand that as we keep evolving and as we keep stepping out of that comfort zone, the comfort zone becomes different and it becomes bigger. So if you think about something that you've done, um, driving a car, How hard did that feel when you first started it?

I remember my mum took me to a car park, and she, um, she took me to a car park and she said, just drive. And I didn't know how to do it. I was too scared to take my hand off the wheel, because, because I didn't know how to drive a car. Now I drive a car without even thinking about it every day. I remember the first job that I ever got as a, um, trainer, um, well actually I went in to get a job as a trainer and I never went for all, I pretty much had the job.

All I had to do was do a trial and I never showed up because I was so scared of talking in front of people, uh, in being in front of people. And now I do it every day. without even thinking, but that was my comfort zone and I was too scared. And that held me back for three years. And this is what I'm saying, that your comfort zone expands.

We just need to start stepping out of it and realizing that that's in order to get a change, we need to, we need to start getting out of that comfort zone and what feels comfortable. And you'll look back and you'll think, why have I, why did I hold myself back for so long for something? I never went to that job because I was so, I was so scared.

And you know, it's now I'm like, think, Oh my God, if I never finally got the courage to do this, I would never be doing the thing that I love the most. And then we start feeling safe in the new comfort zone. And then we try something different and it expands and it keeps and it keeps going, but it is all so possible.

So possible for you. The next question I have for you is I want you to write down in order to lose weight. I need to. So I want you to think about what things you need to do. So please pause the video and write it down.

So some people might write things, hopefully you've written it down, there might be things like, I need to be more consistent, I need to be perfect, I um, need to eat less, I need to stay accountable, I need to, you know, Workout more. I need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. You could, um, I need to, you know, anything so So I want you to think how many things did you write down?

So, uh, you know, you can, you can let me know, did you write more than five things? Did you let me know more than 10 things? You know, um, you know, you just can pop it down and let me know. So these are the things that you've told yourself that you need to do in order to lose weight. And we, when you look at this list of the things you've written, so you might've written, I need to exercise this amount of times I need to.

You know, when you look at these things that you've written down, um, some people might look at it and think, Oh yeah, that's fine. I can do that. Yep. Yep. And, um, but if you're like me, you might look at that and you might think that's really overwhelming. It's too hard. It's too much. And, um, the thing to think about is if it was easy, you would already be doing it.

If it was in your comfort zone, you would already be there. And so, um, you know, it's really, really easy and it's really normal to feel overwhelmed. Have you ever felt overwhelmed before? When is a time that you might have felt overwhelmed? And, uh, you know, when we see these big, large lists of things that we need to do, um, it is really a natural response to feel overwhelmed and then to want to shut down.

And overwhelm is a reaction that our brain does to keep us safe. It gives us an out. So it makes it okay for us to not complete the program. It makes it okay for us, um, to not step out of that comfort zone or to stay inside that comfort zone. And so your secondary game in this circumstance would be that you don't have to take any action.

And I want you to think, how is that working for you? We feel overwhelmed. We think it's all too much and we don't do anything. How is that working for you? So I want to ask you, do you want to learn how you can overcome their feeling of overwhelm and how you could use this for everything in the future?

Because, um, at some point In your life, whether you, anything you do, there is going to be a point that, uh, you know, and if you have a health journey, uh, there is a point that you are going to feel overwhelmed. And you can make a choice if you choose to stay safe, uh, and if you choose to stay in this feeling of overwhelm.

Or if you choose to move past it, so an overwhelm will occur. Okay. No matter of a doubt, it is something that will occur, but if you stay in overwhelm, that is a choice that you have and you can choose to stay in it or you can choose to get out of it. So we feel overwhelmed. We want to stay in this nice safety comfort zone.

Let's firstly go through what overwhelm is. So it is defined, overwhelm is defined as what most people have seen, um, so when we look at overwhelm, define it as. something that's negative. So overwhelm is something when we feel it's all too hard. It's our brain's reaction, but we're seeing it as something negative.

But instead of seeing as something negative, I want you to consider, um, that overwhelm is actually, can actually be really great. Overwhelm. When you feel overwhelmed, it's a sign that you're learning something new. It's a sign that we might need to step out of that comfort zone, which is getting you further to where you actually want to be to get a result We need to step out of the comfort zone because if we were, if the result was in the comfort zone, we would already be there.

And, uh, so if you think that you can get results without learning something new, it's like going surfing and thinking you can't get wet. It's just not possible. We need to learn something new. You need to do something new in order to get the result that you're looking for. And you can't have it all. You can't say, um, You know, I, I want to have the cake and eat it too, you know, or, um, you know, well, food where we will be going more into the food, but you know, you can't, you can't say you want all these results.

But, um, as soon as I feel overwhelmed, I'm going to, I'm not going to take any action. I'm going to just stop. We've got to stop and I'm going to give up as soon as I feel overwhelmed because you can't have both of them. So you can't have these results without, with by staying in the comfort zone. You know, we need to learn something new in order to get a change and overwhelm isn't bad.

It's not something to see bad about. I actually on the opposite feel excited because I think I'm learning something new. It means I'm on the right path. It means it means that I'm, I'm getting there. So I want you to think that overwhelm isn't bad. It's tendency to lead us to inaction, but it's the cure, but the cure for overwhelm is action.

So when we're feeling overwhelmed, I want you to think that when I'm feeling this, I need to just start taking action. And that's how we can start moving forward. So self sabotage is something that I think a lot of us feel that we've been through. But I really want that hope that you can learn from this, that we can start, um, that this doesn't have to be the way we are.

And that we, if we just looking at the surface of things, then, uh, then, you know, we're, we're just, We are just like putting out little fires all the time and we're not we're still not getting there for the long term but if you start to look a little bit deeper if you start to Start to look a little bit deeper if we start to look at their belief systems We look at what we do when we feel overwhelmed.

We look at the actions that that we're taking Then we can really start getting the results that we want and the long term results that we want to get forever. So make sure you let me know what has, what has this, uh, have you learned anything new from this? What has this Video maybe made you realize what does this now make you think about self sabotage and what you are going to do moving forward?

What are you going to do when you feel overwhelmed by a situation? Make sure you let me know because I would love to hear and um, I will speak to you all very, very soon.