ITZINU: Empowering Women's Mindset and Confidence in MIDLIFE

#175: 5 Tips to Set Goals and Actually Achieve Them

• Renae Elliott • Season 1 • Episode 175

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 In this episode of ITZINU, I’m diving deep into goal-setting for health and wellness. Whether you’re just starting out or refocusing your efforts, I’ll share five essential tips that will set you up for success before taking any other steps. From the importance of self-assessment to strategies for staying committed, I’ll guide you through the process of setting goals that are not only achievable but truly transformative. 

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How to Set Goals and Actually Achieve Them -  5 Tips to Set New Health & Wellness Goals



Hello, hello, and welcome back to the ITZINU podcast. So today I want to talk about what things would I recommend for you to do if you were just starting out in looking to get a new kind of health and wellness routine in order. So this came to me because I have a friend that had messaged me and she had been Uh, feeling a little bit stuck.

She'd noticed that she'd put on an extra 10 kilos, uh, which I think she kind of saw creeping on, but kind of didn't want to, uh, admit to it at first. But now it's getting to a point where she's uncomfortable. She feels uncomfortable bending over, you know, she's, uh, clothes unfitting and she really wants to do something about it, but she's not really sure where to get started.

So this is where my inspiration for. For today's podcast comes from, because this is the advice that I would get to her. And this is what I'd give to anybody when you're starting out with something, um, on this kind of new journey. And maybe some of the things I have to say are not typically what you would think.

Okay. So, um, What I would be doing is when we are, when you are looking to start something new, you want to make a change. I really want you to stop and take a breath and, um, think first, because what happens is we get to this point where we are uncomfortable. So you might feel uncomfortable. You might notice that you have put on weight and you want to make some changes.

But the thing is that we've got to just take a step back. S take a big breath, stop and work out where you're at first and what you really, really want. So, because it's really easy to jump in to our old things, jump into what we've done before, you know, jump into some form of restriction or any of those things.

So it's really easy to jump. to quickly try to jump into that and to try to get some quick fix. The thing to always remember is quick fixes don't work and they're not going to work in the long term. So they might, you might get a result, um, you know, straight away, but the thing is that it's keeping the habits in place and finding something that you can stick to for life.

That's going to give you long term results. Anyone that I know that or anyone that I've seen, you know, do quick, try to get some real quick fixes. They generally always put the weight back on. They put the weight back on plus more. So my first step would be is to really work out what you want to achieve.

Okay. So what are you looking for? And to be really, really honest with yourself about this. So the thing as well is when we think we want to go, or we think we're setting out to achieve something, if we're not honest with ourselves about this. Then we're actually, we're never gonna get there because deep down we don't want it.

Deep down you're not really wanting it or you're doing it for someone else. Uh, you may have heard me say before, my husband used to be a smoker. Uh, I, uh, And we've been together a long time, but when we were, you know, new in our relationship, I'd, you know, kind of had said, you know, would you think about giving up?

And, um, he tried to give up for me, but he wasn't giving up for himself, which meant he, he didn't really stick to it when he did give up. He gave up because he decided himself. So this is what I'm saying. I want you to be really, really honest with yourself about what you want. Okay. Think about what you really, really want and write that down.

So, um, what is it you want and really, really define it and be honest. What I also see happen a lot is I have lots of people coming to me and they really do want to achieve weight loss, but they don't want to say that they want to achieve weight loss. So they dance around it. So they dance around it by saying.

They want other things where the truth is they actually just want to lose weight, but they're a bit scared to admit that they want to lose weight because they're scared to admit it because what happens if they don't do it? Uh, what happens if they don't get there, you know, so that they don't get there or it's harder than they think, uh, then they'll feel like they're a failure.

So I see lots of people not actually admitting what they really want and they'll dance around and the subject and they'll say that they want other things instead of, you know, really saying that they want to lose weight. So be really honest with yourself and if you want to lose weight, make that your focus and be like, yes, I want to lose weight.

You know, I'm going, this is, I'm going to start working on it and let's work on it from there. So being honest with yourself is the first, the first real step. Um, what I also, and, and what ties in with all of that is working out your why. So what is your why? What is that deep internal motivator that you really want?

That's going to keep that the driver that's going to keep moving forward. So why are you wanting to lose weight? Are you wanting to lose weight because of, um, you'd like, you'd like to look a different way. Are you wanting to lose weight because you would like to still be able to keep up with your kids?

You know, why, what is that, that you really want to achieve? Uh, is it for, for it, you know, because you're at risk of heart disease or diabetes or any of those things. So So work out that why and what's that internal driver because that's the thing that will keep you going and um, the why is something that I remind myself of all the time.

So I'd be, I'd be, that's, that's still in line with our first step. So our second step is I want you to look at your personality type. So what is something, what you do, again, being honest with yourself, what works for you and what doesn't work for you. So are you going to say, well, I'm going to exercise every day.

I'm going to exercise for two hours a day and I'm going to eat nothing but lettuce leaves. You know, and what are you setting yourself out to do or what are you thinking you can do? We need to look at what works for your personality because what works for me is different to the next person. And we also want you to be able to stick to it.

So working out, uh, you know, Are you a morning exerciser? Are you an afternoon exerciser? Are you better in the evening? Are you better before lunchtime? You know, whatever works for your personality type. I really want you to think about that. Are you someone that needs accountability? Do you need, um, you know, do you prefer to train on your own?

Do you want to train in a group? Like what, you know, uh, what's the combination of things that you were going to need to do first? Uh, we also want to look when we're thinking about personality type, what's the things that you've done before. So what's things that you've done before, um, you know, like with your food, with your exercise, with your stress management, what things have you done before with that to lose weight or keep you at a size that you'd like.

So what, what were those things that were, you were in place at that point and how can we make sure that we're keeping them, uh, that you're keeping them up? So, uh, if, if we are choosing things that are too complicated for us, so lots of times I get people coming to join, uh, they're saying they're going to join the classes.

And they might say, what I recommend to everybody is that I said, if you're not, if you're not sure, I would say, start at two, start at two sessions and regularly build the habit in. Okay. Regularly build that habit in, and then you'll be able to, then you can look at adding to it from there instead of some people go, I'm going to start at two.

every day, then they come and say they're going to train every day and they miss some days and they don't make it. And then they feel like a failure then they don't want to show up because they're embarrassed or, you know, or they feel like they didn't do it. So it's just. start off, um, you know, making it as fail proof as possible.

So looking into your personality type, looking what works for you, what doesn't work for you, uh, what you like, what feels good for you. Think about what you've done before, you know, and the things that did work for you that did before the things that you didn't. So, you know, if there's things that you've done before and they didn't work, why would you do them again?

Okay. We're going to learn. We've got to learn from the things in the past. To learn from these things in the past and we need to be able to move on from them. So really, really, uh, you know, being honest with yourself again. And I would be writing all this stuff down. I love writing things down because it becomes so much more clearer.

And when we are thinking of, you know, write down a list, what worked for me, what didn't work for me, when we can be more clear on these things, you will really know what, what, you know, your path is going to be so much easier for you because we've got these kinds of things that don't do this, don't do this, don't do this because it didn't work.

So that, so being honest and looking at your personality type. Okay. So I have lots of people that say, Say they, they know they need accountability. So they know they need accountability. They know they need. somebody to be chasing up with them. So, you know, if that's you, then make sure you find something or you, you know, you, um, you know, you hire a coach, you get somebody that's going to give you that accountability that you need, because that's how you're going to be more likely to stick to it.

My third tip is look at your schedule. So, um, you know, what is your schedule like? Are you Are you committing to too much? And what can you realistically fit in? Again, because we don't want you to over commit to something and then feel like you're a failure. So what can you realistically commit to? Uh, what can you manage with your kids, uh, grandkids, you know, your lifestyle, your work, what, what things can you tie in with all of that?

And it's really working out that stuff. So if you're again, committing. to um, to training in the morning, but you're going to have, um, you know, your working night shift, maybe that's not right for you. So maybe we need to think about doing something or finding, you know, like if you're looking for somewhere to join a program to join, or, you know, classes to go to, or a PT, whatever you're, you need to make it work for you in that way.

So we can't, uh, be choosing something that's just too hard. I, uh, do it to myself all the time. I say yes to too many things or I try to fit too many things in and I give myself not enough time travel between already of that. Um, and I'm getting a lot better at saying no or planning, you know, like saying no and not putting it in because.

Uh, it ends up stressing me out and you know, so that's what I don't want you to do either. So, um, what I also find is people, it's very easy to get overwhelmed, especially when we're trying to do new things. So we're trying to do new things. We have this frustration because we've a size that we don't like and we want to make a change and we want it to happen quickly.

We need to be, we need to slow down and really be realistic about what we can stick to. Because the thing is, And what I've seen over the, you know, many years as a trainer is 14 years or something. Yeah. But what I see is people that try to do too much to start off with, they won't stick to it. So what I want you to do is be realistic, choose what you, what is feels manageable.

So then you will manage it. Yes. Weight loss will be slower. It will be solid, but you will stick to it forever. What I find is that the other people they join these, you know, uh, things for short term and they're jumping from thing to thing is they end up giving up because it, you know, it all becomes overwhelming.

It becomes too much, uh, too hard, uh, you know, too strict. So we've got, you've got to find something that's going to work to you because this is the goal is long term weight loss, long term weight loss and that we can learn to manage it. So then you don't get yourself into this position again. So, um, Habits.

We want to start with your one habit. So my full tip is start with one habit. and look at building on from there. So habits are really important. Uh, lots of people, when they're starting out, they're looking for motivation. So you want to be motivated to get started. Or I hear people saying, um, I just wish I had more motivation.

Motivation will get you started, but motivation is not going to keep you going. Your habits are going to keep you going. So this is why going back to our first point, when we talked about that, why and understanding your why that is the thing that is going to keep you going when we don't have that motivation anymore and motivation.

We are not, it does not hang around all the time. Okay. I'm not motivated all the time, but I have habits in place and I understand how important it is for me to do it. And I tie it back to my why. And that's why I keep going forward. And it's really important to build on those habits. We also want to think about when we are building on habits, you are more likely.

to stick to something when you tag it to a habit you already have. So I told my, I said I was going to do go get every day. I said that, but I didn't tie it to anything. So I said I was going to do it when the kids went to bed and every night came and I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I'll try again tomorrow, you know, and I'm sure you've done something similar.

And then I was like, okay, what is going on here? I'm not, I'm not doing what I said I'm going to do. I want to do it. It's important. But I already had a habit of running every morning. So what I did is I set my alarm, um, 15 or 20 minutes earlier. I got up earlier and I did yoga and then I ran and I did it every day because I tagged it with a habit that I already had.

So we want to look at focusing on kind of one habit at a time and building on from there. So again, back to go into what your personality type is. So would it be good to maybe just say, okay, I'm going to only focus on food or I'm going to only focus on exercise, or I'm going to, you know, like, are we going to build on from there?

Because again, we're always looking for this long term picture. So think about what, what are your current habits, uh, what ones are supporting that goal that we really defined, uh, when we were starting off being honest with ourselves. what habits are supporting that and what habits are not supporting that.

So the ones that are not, we want to look at, you know, maybe looking at altering those habits and seeing how we could change. And there's things that you could be, let's say that, um, You know, you come in from work every day and you come in and then you open a bottle of wine and you just start to have a drink and then that turns into two and you know, and before you know it, you've had nearly all of that bottle through the course of the night.

Now, is that supporting your goal? You know, it's not probably not supporting your goal, but maybe we could look at changing that habit. I'm not telling you not to drink wine, but maybe you could look at reducing. Maybe you don't need to open that bottle as soon as you get home. Maybe you could have one glass of wine with dinner.

Maybe you really enjoy having a glass when kids have gone to bed and you could sit there and enjoy that glass. Maybe you don't need to have a drink every night. It's just thinking what habit is supporting my goals and what do I feel like I keep, what habits can I carry forward and then we're going to look at building on from those habits.

My fifth tip is do not underestimate small changes. For So small changes make long lasting results. What I see happen all the time is people say, Oh, I can't, they have this all or nothing mentality. So they think, well, they can't do everything. So if they can't do it all, well, they may as well not start. So, you know, the thing is, is that if we look at small, Habits, small changes, and we build on from there.

And it's those small changes that, that we incrementally change over time. They become big changes. Uh, if I give you an example of how I, how I eat now compared to how I ate 15 plus years ago, it's completely different, but I didn't, I, I made small changes along the way. So, you know, with the foods I used to eat compared to the foods I eat now, I don't feel like I'm missing out.

I know that I don't eat them because I don't enjoy them, but I've changed ever. I just made little changes over time. Uh, with anything, uh, you know, so we just You know, just don't underestimate small changes. When I was building my core strength after I had kids, uh, you know, when I was building that up, I, um, you know, I couldn't fit in a long workout.

I could maybe only do 10 or 15 minutes here or there. And I did that multiple times throughout the day. Uh, I just did it when I could. I did little things when I could. If I kept telling myself, I don't have enough time for this, I can't set the time aside. I would get nothing done. I would have done nothing.

But I just did little things. So if you were somebody like, I hear lots of moms saying they don't have enough time to exercise, put five minutes aside, 10 minutes, because once you start, you'll go for a little bit longer. Just start with something because, um, you can build on from there and something is better than nothing.

And you will increase strength. You will increase your fitness. You will make changes. By doing something, it's also, um, to look around and when we're looking at making small changes, look at what changes you can make that are already fit within your lifestyle. So it's not feeling like a, Oh, I've got to do another this when I get home.

So things that I find that you can do is movement. How can you move more during your day? So if you're at a desk job, how can you get up and walk around more? I had one lady that she, uh, she worked out how she could, um, she worked out to get her steps, how she'd go a different way to the photocopier. You know, take different breaks, take the stairs, park your car away further.

So I found those things, um, uh, you know, uh, easy to put in. I had another lady who, you know, in her lunch break, she chose to walk so she could move more. She chose a lunch that she could eat while she was walking. So she wasn't sitting down and she got to walk her full lunch break. So she was moving more.

So it's just think about how we can make these small changes work for us and make them work within your day. Yeah. What I see all the time is that, you know, because daily movement is really underestimated as to getting long term results is, um, you know, people waiting at school in the cars. So, you know, you might get there 15 or 20 minutes early.

You could get up and you could be moving in that time. You're already sitting there. So just think about what you can already fit into your day that, you know, that can make a big change. The other thing is, um, is I heard somebody saying how they wear a weighted vest around the house. So when they're doing the jobs and that around the house, they're wearing like a weighted vest.

So you're carrying this extra weight. So you're already doing this stuff around the house. You're just adding an extra load onto you that is going to challenge your body. So there's things that you can fit in with the habits or the things that you're already doing in your life. So, you know, the things we want to stick, um, think about is with, with getting a long term, you know, looking for a long term goal, you, you've got to, whatever you're doing now, we need to add on to that.

So, you know, we have, um, so I have somebody that does, we talk about daily movement and getting your steps up. So, you know, we have somebody that she already walks. She has a job where, um, she's very active at jobs. So she might do 20, 000 plus steps a day already. Now for her, her body is used to her doing that.

So for her to get a change, she needs to add onto that. She needs to add on to that and, and add some more steps and do some more, uh, or, or change a different activity for her body to, to be challenged. So that's what we need to look at. How can, how can we, um, challenge our body differently so we're getting a result.

If we keep doing the same thing, uh, the same exercise or the same, uh, amount of movement and expecting the same results with them. You know, we need to change it. You need to, you need to change up what you're doing. So whether you change your, your exercise, you know, the type of exercise you're doing, the weights you're lifting, how hard you work, that's one option.

Changing your daily movement, how much you move, uh, you know, or looking at your food, you know, look at your sleep. So they're, they're all the things. You know, so what I would recommend is to really nut these things out first. So before we jump ahead and try to quickly jump into something so we can get a quick result, I really want you to stop and think about these things.

Stop and think about this and make a bit of a plan because when we have this kind of foundation down, so we're being realistic as to what we really want. We are looking at our personality type, what we may have done before, what we tried, what we liked, what we maybe didn't like, and we're going to kind of think, well, I'm going to be more inclined to stick to this.

We're then going to be looking at your schedule. So looking at your schedule on what was realistically going to fit into your lifestyle. So don't be like me. I'm trying to book in too many things at the same time. Be like, what can I realistically stick to? What's going to not put me under too much pressure?

Again, when I used to live in Glasgow, I would have come home. And I knew because I understood my personality is that if I went home, I wouldn't go back out. So I had to, so I would bring my clothes to my gym clothes to work. I would walk home past my own house to the gym and I didn't go home because I knew I wouldn't go back out.

So it's making sure, you know, you've found something that's going to work with you and work in your lifestyle. And being realistic with your schedule so it doesn't feel overwhelming. What happens when we feel overwhelming, overwhelmed, we feel like, um, it feels like it's all too much and then we give up.

Over, when we feel overwhelmed is actually a sign that you're learning. It's, it's a good thing, it's a sign that you're learning and I, I want you to learn but I don't want you to give up. Our fourth thing that we're working on is we are looking at our habits and we are focusing on one at a time. So we're looking at building on one habit, um, one on the other.

And you know, if you're wanting to look at stacking them. So then you're putting a new habit with an old habit, you'll more likely stick to it. Um, but we want to just build on one from there and remember if we do too much at once, it just becomes too overwhelming. And my fifth tip is, um, to not underestimate small changes.

So, you know, make small, uh, look at what small changes you can fit into your day. that don't feel, um, that, you know, that you can, you're already doing these things. How can you add extra in, uh, you know, I've done things like, I still do things like, uh, you know, I go to the, if I've taken the kids to the park, I'll be making sure that I'm moving.

What things can I, can I get so that I'm getting my movement, but I'm doing it with, with my kids as well. So how can I in, input that type of stuff? Um, you know, we, we, when we can, when you can have a bit of a think about this and plan this stuff out first, You know, are you someone that needs accountability?

You know, we talked about that before. So we've got to think about those things and write it down and then you can start planning your, uh, planning what steps you're going to take forward. Probably the biggest, uh, road blocker or the biggest, uh, thing that I see people to stopping them achieving their goal is they, they don't regularly check in with themselves.

So we don't regularly assess, you know, we might, lots of times we're telling us. Uh, telling ourselves stories in our heads of what we're doing or what we can do, but we're not being realistic. Uh, we're not, well, we're not checking in on it. So, uh, when I run different programs, you know, I have a weekly check in.

There's lots of people that don't even check in with me and I'll have to be chasing them up. And, uh, you know, but the checking in, the magic is in the check in because that's where you can see what needs to be improved on. Uh, I understand it's nerve wracking to, uh, look at that, To maybe see that some things aren't going quite as you expected, but you know, if we keep ignoring it, nothing's going to change.

This is where we learn when we learn and we learn how to manage it for life. So find a way to check in with yourself regularly. Um, or again, if you've got someone for accountability, look at that. So don't underestimate a check in, a check in, a check in with yourself weekly. Uh, you know, the other, a couple of weeks ago, I was looking at my steps and I just was writing them down.

Now I know that I do 10, 000 plus. uh, steps a day. So I was just writing down out of interest and I realized, and again, but I wasn't checking in, I realized that over the school holidays, my steps were, were nearly half. And I didn't know that. So, you know, it was good because I had, I'd seen that. So next school holidays, I will look to make a change.

But I didn't realize, yeah, that, um, just because I was writing down, I was like, wow, my steps are half to what I normally,

So if this is you, uh, I would really don't, you know, you can do it, you can get to wherever you want to be. We just need to start to believe in yourself and, you know, but just look at setting the foundation first because when we, uh, spend this bit of time working this stuff out first, You will get what you want because you're making your plan bulletproof.

And when you are reflecting more often and you're noticing things that are working or things that aren't, we can make changes and tweaks along the way. So the plan you start off with isn't the plan that isn't standing in stone. It can definitely be changed, definitely be worked on, but, uh, but we need to, um, you know, really set the foundation, right.

And you will get what, where you want to be. Um, and I would really, really love to hear if this helped you. If you've started to put any of, if you're going to put any of these things into place, uh, let me know how you go because, um, I love to hear back from people. And if you know anybody that this would help, please make sure you share the podcast.

Uh, you'd like and share it, uh, on any of your social media platforms. platforms because it helps the podcast grow and it helps us help more people. So I'm going to love you and leave you today and I look forward to hearing news from you all soon. Okay. Bye.