#178: How Constant Busyness Is Harming Women's Health

In this episode, we dive deep into a pervasive issue affecting women today: the relentless cycle of busyness and its detrimental impact on health. I share insightful perspectives on how societal expectations, stress, and personal beliefs contribute to this fast-paced, "always on the go" lifestyle, particularly for women over 40.

 You'll hear about how this nonstop rushing, paired with technology and convenience-driven choices, is causing burnout, stress-related health issues, and feelings of helplessness. Most importantly, this episode emphasizes that the power to break this cycle lies within each of us.

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Transcript

178: How Constant Busyness Is Harming Women's Health


Hello, hello, and welcome back to the itzinu podcast. So today I want to talk about the busyness of women, especially at the moment and the tendency to always be rushing and always on the go. And I'm wanting to get people to start to recognize how this is actually making a really detrimental effect on your health.
And it's actually something that you're in control of. If we look at society over how, uh, you know, we have grown over, you know, many hundreds and thousands of years. When we first, um, you know, we used to look to get food from the land and we used to move around with the seasons. In order to get food. And then, you know, as we evolved, we then, where people were able to start developing crops.
And so instead of having to move with the seasons, we're able to stay into one place and look to get our crops from there. And then time has evolved even more and people have now looking at getting their food from the most convenient places possible, uh, for women and men, you know, but we tend to be working more than ever to keep up with, uh, society or how we perceive that we should be living.
Keeping up with that, we're working more than ever Where anything that takes too long to cook, it is just not possible, it's just, it's not even considered. And we are looking for anything that is more convenient, uh, over nutrition than ever. Or, you know, we are the, uh, you know, like even if you look at the last, uh, 50 or so years of our food, you know, that food's gone from everything being made from scratch, uh, you know, to now everything being in a packet and what's got the longer shelf life and, uh, what can be done in the quickest way possible.
As much as technology has changed, so that's changed with our food, technology has changed in, uh, you know, we have never, ever had a device, uh, Uh, that we can have, uh, on the go, uh, our whole life is held into this device. Uh, we're not getting a rest from work because you could be contacted at, um, at an instant.
Instance, you know, you, uh, we are constantly seen for checking our phones and making sure that we're not missing something. Uh, you know, we've never had a device. that, uh, leaks radiation and we've had it, it's never been researched to have it near our brains for such a long period of time. All of this is unknown, but what I do know is that, I'm going to specifically talk about the female population, but I know this is true for men as well, but we are more stressed.
As a society than what we have ever been before and when we think about stress and how this affects our bodies, it is something that is underestimated and it takes its toll on you and it's starting to take its toll on you. on women's health. And I'm particularly talking about women in their 40s and plus, you know, they might be perimenopausal or they might be in menopause.
You know, I'm, I'm specifically talking to those women and how it is affecting your health. I'm 41 and in that age, life is busy. I had two kids. I have a 10 and a six year old. I had kids a little bit later, um, than some, but my life is very busy and I realized. That I keep it very busy and I do like busy, but it is taking, it does take its toll on your health and how we're feeling.
And it is something that you have complete charge over and that you can make changes to starting to for, for your body and for your, you know, health. If we can start to understand that we have choices. in how we live our life and we have choices in what we're doing and, and maybe when we can start to see the effects before it, uh, has really long term detrimental effects that we can, uh, start looking at stripping stuff back or making some changes or some adjustments to make sure that you're feeling, um, the best version of you.
Um, I'm calling this very busy woman, a staming woman. So a staming woman is somebody That you will often feel that your day moves from one urgent task to the other. So regardless of circumstances, whether you're working full time, part time, not working, you're parenting, you're studying, uh, whatever you're doing, uh, most of these women really schedule their days to the max.
to try to squeeze everything in. They seem to feel tired yet wired. Um, they're often frantic and they tend to wake up and use coffee as their best friend to start the day off. Uh, but then they tend to use alcohol in the evenings to help them wind down. Um, sleep could be a struggle or they're restless.
Um, they tend to laugh less than what they ever, uh, did before. They feel scared, uh, not to let anyone down. This steaming woman, she knows she's busy and, uh, she knows she, she does need to slow down, but she's just so convinced that it's just not possible and that she's so short on time. There, there is no, there is no possible way that she could slow down and she just has to live it and get through it.
Now I'm calling her the steaming woman because she is trying to steam and get through everything and she's doing it at the detriment of her own health. Um, my, uh, husband's Scottish and I spent a lot, my family's Scottish and I spent a long time over there. But when we say steaming, steaming actually means drunk.
And so I'm also referring to, you know, you were kind of like in this, This uncontrolled state that you know, but you would, might seem cool and collected on the outside, but your body on the inside is just out of control. And maybe it has happened so much over time that you don't even recognize that this is happening to you anymore or that you were this person.
Now, this is, I definitely fall into this category and over the years I have done lots and lots of things to try to, To, uh, stop it, to try to, you know, not let this stuff take its toll on me. Um, I've definitely had my fair share, but it is something that I think we should all be reassessing and constantly reassessing, reassessing where we're at and, uh, you know, how we can, how we can change things.
Now, if you recognize that, um, if you recognize that this may be you and you may have some of these signs, you are not alone and, um, the, the thing is that your body will be asking you, will be telling you in certain ways, it's asking you to listen to it and it's telling you that it's not coping and we might just feel like we need to push through or just ignore it.
But your body is your best teacher, and it is letting you know that it needs some help. Your body could be showing you with things like IBS, uh, diarrhoea, uh, you know, we, uh, could have bloating, brain fog, uh, heavy periods, um, no periods at all, um, digestive issues. Um, weight gain, especially around the midsection and when you feel like you just can't do anything to shift that weight, um, puffy face, um, anxious, feeling anxious.
They're just some of the signs that your body is, is telling you that it needs some help. The thing as well is that we tend to fall into this category and we think that it's okay. We think that, well, we're just busy and everyone you talk to around you is going through the same thing, so that's just normal.
But the thing is, it doesn't have to be normal. You know, we look at how much we have evolved over time and our stresses and all of that have evolved so much. Um, but you know, our bodies actually haven't really changed, but they're having to learn to cope with that stress. And this, this is what I'm asking you is to start to recognize, is this you?
And how can you start to make some changes? Uh, or start to recognize the space to be living the life that you really, really want to live and feeling good about yourself. The thing is this rushing lifestyle, um, it really begins and it ends with us. And you have more control than what you're giving yourself credit for and no one else.
No one else has to live their life, live your life. Uh, and I can hear people saying to me already, but you don't understand what I have to go through. No, I don't understand what you have to go through, but I can guarantee you, everybody around you has their own set of circumstances that they have that they're living and they have, um, you know, the stress and, uh, how we, how we interpret it and how we feel, you know, or the perception of it is, um, is all on us.
And that stuff is, you know, we, we can really make, you can make lots of changes. And the thing is that With the rush and how it's feeling, the perception, it is partly due to perceptions. And, you know, two people could be in a room and they could perceive the same circumstance very differently. Can be also partly because of, um, the busyness and that stress type of lifestyle.
Can all be choose, can all be because of the things that we've said yes to, or the reasons behind why we said yes. So you could be saying yes to things because that you are a people pleaser and you are wanting to make sure that you keep everybody happy. And I have definitely fallen into that category lots of times myself.
And when it's about worthiness, whether we're feeling if we're good enough, if we're not good enough and what can we do to make sure that we're always seeking that approval. And it can also be, you know, uh, the desire to be loved. And, uh, you know, that we're doing these things for that reason. And the thing is, uh, I really asked you, you know, you're hearing something that you might be hearing some of the things I'm saying, and you might be feeling like, you know, in your heart.
that you do need to make a change, but it just feels so impossible and so Overwhelming and every day you're just in survival mode and we are just trying to survive The thing is to really truly understand that we need to understand that when we're in this stress state. We're in this fight or flight and I'm sure you've all heard of that term before that we're in fight or flight and that we feel like we have to run away from the tiger.
And when we're doing this, when you feel like you're running away from the tiger, having to run away from the tiger, your body is going to be releasing more adrenaline. If that adrenaline is not used, it's then just going to be getting stored. Adrenaline ends up being glucose and it's going to get stored and most likely it's going to get stored around your midsection.
And because we are not getting out of this stress state, we, our body's functions, or are altered and they're not working as efficiently as they should in order to get rid of that extra glucose. And it needs to protect us, it thinks we need to be protected which is hence why it is just storing it all for us.
We can acknowledge that this is, this is maybe what would be happening to us. We know, we have the desire that we know that we need to change but we just don't even know where to start. And the first thing I want you to do is to think about You Um, how do you actually want to live your life? You know, what, what are the things that, what is your, what is your why, what is your desire?
What, how do you feel? And it's all different. There is no right or wrong. It's unique to you. Uh, what are the values that you actually, you know what, and are you living your life according to those values? A few years ago, my husband had a, um, he was going through a really stressful time and he wasn't quite coping and When we talked about it, how he wanted to live his life and how he was living his life was completely the opposite.
So the things that he was valuing was being around, um, you know, his family and his kids, obviously me and his kids being, being around our kids, sorry, having quality time together. And at that stage in, um, in our lives, he was working every weekend and he was working late nights. So, so he wasn't actually living.
He wasn't living that way. And sometimes life just evolves and we just get on with life. And it goes in certain ways that we just, we just end up in a way, and we just feel like we can't get out. Um, We were lucky enough that he decided to leave his job and he took some time out to really, really re evaluate and it was the best thing he could have ever done for himself and for us as a family.
But when, you know, it was really interesting and I still remember that day when we sat down and we spoke about it and how he thought what he actually wanted to live and what was really important to him, he was doing the exact opposite. And I asked you to ask yourself that question. Um, it's something I'm really aware of and I, I remind myself of it daily.
Uh, my kids are my world and I am really aware that they're going to get older soon and not want to spend as much time with us at the moment. I just want to lap up and cherish every moment with them. And so that is what I try to do because that's what's most important to me. Again, that doesn't have to be the thing that's important to you.
We are all different, um, but it is starting to think about and acknowledge how do you actually want to live and it's thinking about, are you living that way? When I got to a point in, uh, my life that I felt really stressed and overwhelmed and I had to acknowledge that I do have, There are things that I have control of and, uh, I'm a, I'm a list writer and I like writing things down and I wrote down all my stresses.
I wrote down what my stresses were and I had to think about what things was actually in my control. So what, what could I change and what could I, what, you know, did I have some control over? So, uh, I did have some big stresses and, um, but actually lots of them I could alter. So for me, I was booking people in too tightly.
So I was trying to, uh, get as much in, in the day and not let anyone down, being a people pleaser. So that was one like thing that I was doing. So I was able to become aware of that and I was able to, um, you know, start to look at how I was booking people in. Um, I learned to say no to things that I was doing to probably make someone else happy, uh, which I know lots of people struggle with.
So I was able to say, said no to some things and gave myself some more time for me. I, uh, you know, looked at some of my stress management strategies. So some of them, um, was going to the beach, but at the time I told myself I could never, I couldn't make it there. And instead of thinking, saying I couldn't make it there, I really rephrased how I talked and said, what can I do to make sure I can get to the beach?
Um, you know, at least once or twice a week. And once I changed my head that way, I actually. I actually could, I actually could make it and I did, uh, you know, I'm able to make it now multiple times a day, but I was caught in this trap of being like, no. Um, I really remember probably getting close to 10 years ago now, we had like a nutritionist come and speak.
Do you want to speak for the, the members of Um, the classes at the time? And she came and she talked about how We're eating on the go and rush around and how that's not great for our digestive health and all of those things. And I was, I was saying to her, I was like Oh well you don't understand, I'm so busy, I have to I have to have client, I have to, you know, have uh, PT sessions in the morning and then I have to finish them and then I have to get the kids to school and get here and get back here.
I said I don't have enough time, I don't have enough time and I was saying to her, well, you know, you don't understand my life, I'm so busy, um, you know, but I have a choice in that. I choose to book the people in, I can say no to that. Um, you know, I can make choices to eat my food a little bit later, but I never forget the face she made at me.
Because in the time I was convinced I had no other choice, you know, that's how I felt. I had no other choice. I could not sit down and do that. And she just, She didn't say anything, she just, just this face she made and how she shrugged her shoulders. But the truth is, I do have a choice. Um, you know, that, that, you know, how we speak, uh, to each other is just keeping us, how we speak, you know, in your mind and, you know, is just keeping it the same way.
So, that was a really big thing to recognize that I could actually, um, you know, I could, I did have a choice in that and I could rearrange, um, people how they booked in and just to actually sit down and eat and enjoy what I'm eating and not just scoff it up. That was a really big, a really, really big thing for me.
Now the thing is, many women, they have this tendency to want to be all of all to everybody and be all the things to all the people and they do find it really, really difficult to say no. And being, being this person is, um, is a thing that is keeping you, you know, is making you that You know, you're a steaming woman, you're stressed and overworked, um, feel like we never have enough time and it is taking its toll on our health.
And the thing is to really, really work out what's going on. Uh, I urge you to start digging deeper to understand your beliefs. Uh, you know, you could be having the perfect, diet. So we can have the perfect diet. We're eating, uh, you know, as perfectly as we can. We're, uh, you know, drinking, uh, you know, three to four liters of water a day, and we are getting our exercise in.
But the thing is that if we are still feeling this, you know, this overwhelming feeling of anxiety and we're rushing and we're trying to get everything done, you know, that that's your, we're never going to be able to maybe lose weight or to, you know, feel full of energy. And in order to do that, you know, I urge you to dig deeper to understand your beliefs.
And how those beliefs are driving your actions. So just like me, I believed I had no other way, you know, than I had to eat breakfast on the go. You know, I had, I had lots of things. I, um, when I was younger, I used to work two jobs and I didn't work two jobs because I needed the money. Um, I worked two jobs because I felt I had to be loyal and I had caught people in my, when I, this was, I was working in a florist and in a, um, In a pub and when I first started working the pub I caught people stealing.
I told the boss at the time he was the business was struggling and they were stealing like bottles of Jack Daniels and they're hiding it at the back and then taking it home and I was only 19 or something and I I told, I told the boss, um, and he, uh, they, they got fired, but I then took it on as my responsibility and that it was my fault that, um, I, you know, that it was my fault that that happened, which meant I had to work all the hours.
Um, that they used to do. Now, it wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault and it wasn't my responsibility. But for years, I took that on as my responsibility. And I used to work day and night. And my only day off was Monday. Monday night. I used to work Monday during the day. And, um, you know, that was a belief of mine.
And that was detrimental to my health. I also missed out on, um, you know, You know, lots of fun activities with my friends because I was working all the time and that was a belief of mine and that belief wasn't true and that belief didn't exist. Um, you know, it was havoc, it did cause havoc on my body. I was tired.
I used to lay in bed, I used to get home from working and it might be 2am or something and I'd have to be back up and at work at 8 and I remember laying down and I would just have like shooting pains through my, uh, legs when I'd get up in the morning, just probably because I'd never rested enough. What I'm saying is it's these beliefs that can be holding, holding us back and really taking a toll on, on, on our bodies and what we do.
Lots of times food is used as a crux. It's used as the crux because that can give us comfort and make us feel good. And other things, you know, we just don't realize how much they are, they are having, still taking a toll on our bodies. The rush and, you know, the rush and the craziness and the trying to get everything done, you know, it is communicating to our bodies with this, uh, relentless production of the stress hormone and it is really taking its toll on our overall health.
It's leading women to feel helpless, uh, to have a higher body mass index and chronic and more chronic illness than those without stressors. And You know, it is, it is just important to start to acknowledge that if you are one of these steaming women, and, uh, you know, that you can stop and start to acknowledge that, uh, this could be you and that there are changes that Changes can be made.
Uh, it's, it's important. And the first, the first step is recognition. Now I have developed a program which is called Mind Over Muscle, which is all about looking in our headset and, uh, working. Um. On how we're feeling and maybe on our belief system and how that stuff is holding us back and it's causing us to, uh, to start and to give up and, you know, to be on that constant yo-yo cycle.
And when we can start to really dig, dig deeper and work out why we are doing certain things and what are the beliefs behind that are driving our actions and that are causing us to feel, you know, uh, overwhelmed or. You know, not good. We can, we can really start to break them down. I was talking to my, my gran today actually about feelings and, um, looking at, you know, working through these types of processes.
My gran's 89. She said, isn't it, shouldn't we just put it in the cupboard and shut the door and forget about it? And sure, you know what, you can, you can try to do that. But the thing is, I guarantee you, it shows up in more ways. than you'll ever know. It shows up in more ways and I really ask you to just start digging deeper because we can continue to try to put it, uh, to put it away and to ignore it.
But, um, but it will, it will keep showing up and it can be difficult to, to, uh, acknowledge it. But first starting to just create little steps, little small, tiny steps. To work through it and you know, start creating new habits that fit in with the lifestyle that we want to live. You'll feel so much better for it.
So I'm going to leave you with that today and I really would love to hear from you if If you feel like you are one of those steaming women that is rushing around, uh, trying to get everything done and, uh, feel like you've got a thousand tasks on your to do list. If you feel like you don't have enough time, uh, to get everything done, um, I'd love to hear from you.
So I'll talk to you all soon.