#186: Overcoming Overwhelm: How to Regain Control & Reduce Stress

Feeling overwhelmed by life, work, or starting something new? You’re not alone! In this episode, we break down why overwhelm happens, how to recognise it, and—most importantly—how to manage it. Whether you’re facing stress from a new challenge, work pressures, or personal struggles, we’ll share simple but powerful strategies to help you stay in control, focused, and calm.

✅ Learn how to recognise overwhelm before it takes over
✅ Discover proven strategies to break free from stress
✅ Find out how to shift your mindset and reframe challenges

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Transcript

#186: Overcoming Overwhelm: How to Regain Control & Reduce Stress

[00:00:00] Hello, hello and welcome everybody. Now, I just want to talk a little bit today about feeling overwhelmed and being overwhelmed. It's really easy when we're starting a new program to feel excited when we first start and have that little bit of excitement. But then when we start to get into it or we start to learn something new, it can all feel a little bit too much.
And then we might just start to feel a little bit overwhelmed. And we start to shut down and I've seen it time and time again, and I want to be really, really clear on why, uh, that when this happens, it's okay. And we're going to put some strategies into place so then that you can, um, stay on top of it and not let it get you down.
Now, the first thing I want to say is that feeling overwhelmed is normal. And just about everybody, uh, feels overwhelmed in some point when they're signing something new. Okay. When you, uh, Uh, first driving a car, well I was, you know, didn't, I was too scared to even take my hands off the wheel. [00:01:00] That was overwhelming, you know, but did I give up?
No, because I knew that I really wanted to be able to drive. When I first, I'm sure you've heard me talk about before, when I first became a, when I first had my first trial as a trainer, I actually didn't turn up to the class because I was that scared of, um, standing in front of people. And I didn't do it and I ended up not doing it and I, um, didn't even do my trial and that held me back.
I let that fear hold me back. So, um, I want us to conquer some of these overwhelming feelings from the start and get on top of it so then we don't let it take over us. Overwhelm can come in all different forms and it can, it, um, I'm probably more specifically talking about when we, um, like, like starting a new program or something, something, starting something new.
But also, uh, we can feel overwhelmed when we're just stressed or anything in life. And, um, It's really important to understand that feeling overwhelmed [00:02:00] is normal. Okay. And the biggest thing that I take away is when I feel overwhelmed, I see it as a good thing because it means I am learning something new and we are here to learn something new.
And if we continued, if we knew everything, we would be where we want to be. And we are not there yet. Feeling overwhelmed means we are learning something new and we're, we're having to take that on. Now to go a little bit, um, in the background of our brain is wired to keep us safe. And when it says we're wiring to keep us safe, keeping us safe isn't necessarily the best thing for it.
It is just what, what the brain knows. It wants to keep us safe and so when we have all these new things coming at us, they feel like all too much and we really want to then just go, Oh, it's all too much. I'm going to go back to what I know and to what's familiar. And this is what we, uh, if. If what was familiar was working for you, then you would be where you want to be, but that's not [00:03:00] where you, where you want to be because it hasn't worked.
So we need to do something different. So in order to do something different, we are going to feel uncomfortable. We are going to feel overwhelmed. So please understand this and know it is a normal thing, especially when we start something new. If you are starting to feel overwhelmed, um, just take a step back and follow some of the strategies that I'm going to go through with you.
The other thing that's important to know is stress, it doesn't really discriminate. So it impacts everybody, regardless of the age, gender, race, where you live, any of those things, and it can stem from any personal or synthetic factors, like, so it can, anything can cause us to feel stress and people's levels of stress levels differ depending on something that I might find very stressful.
It might mean nothing to you. And it's all really possible to learn the coping skills that you can use to, uh, cope with [00:04:00] overwhelm and all of this. But we really want to get down to these root causes that, uh, so we can work out why it's happening and then you can overcome them. Then just learn, we don't want to just be on the surface and just, we don't want to band aid things.
We want to get down that little bit deeper and work out why you were feeling overwhelmed. So obviously I'm going to give you tips to manage it, but again, the true, the true factor is getting down to the root cause of why, why something new or why what you're doing is making you feel overwhelmed. So over feeling overwhelmed can come from many different things.
So it can come from work stresses, relationships. Um, financial worries, traumatic experiences, health concerns, political issues, uh, learning something new. It's all, um, there's so many factors that can cause you to feel overwhelmed. It's okay. It's totally okay to feel that way. Like I said, it means, it means that you're learning.
So learning to [00:05:00] regulate your emotions. Uh, it can be, um, can be different from one person to the other and it's really important to understand that nobody handles stress in the same way. So what works for me might not necessarily work for you. We're going to, I'm going to give you all my tips. We're going to, uh, look at finding it, but we need to find what actually works for you.
There are like coping strategies that we all have that can help, um, reduce the amount of overwhelm that they experience. from day to day and how they deal with that one stressful moment. So yeah, I wonder if are you somebody that recognizes that you do feel overwhelmed? Do you recognize what that feeling is?
Because maybe you might not even know that, that that's what you're feeling. So I guess, how does overwhelm show up for me? Uh, overwhelm shows up for me. If it's something that I feel is just all too much and I maybe put it off. I don't want to do it. When, I guess if, if I've joined, you know, like you've joined the program.
You [00:06:00] want to, you want to, you've joined it for a reason, but why, why are we not following the steps? Or why are we not doing it? Um, you know, and maybe that's how overwhelm might show up to me, overwhelm might show up as anger. Uh, frustration, uh, you know, it can show up in lots of different ways, but it's just starting to recognize, is this me feeling overwhelmed?
Uh, when it all for me overwhelmed feels like when it's all feels like too much and I just can't do it. I just can't do it. I can't, I know there's things I want to do and I should be doing, but I just can't do it all. And, um, generally when we start to feel that way, we might start telling us some stories.
So you might say, I can't do this today because, um, I need to, I need to get the lunches ready for the kids. Or I can't do my workout today because my husband needs to leave work for early, you know, leave for work early and I have to stay home with the kids. So, so you might start to notice if you're starting to feel overwhelmed, you might start to make some excuses.
Of why you [00:07:00] can't do things, why you can't show up, how you should be showing up or doing the things, especially, you know, you, you've got things that we know to do. So that's, that's how it kind of shows up, how it shows up for me. Uh, definitely when I feel like, um, maybe if I don't understand something, if I feel like it's hard, if I feel like it's just too much is, is, is definitely an, a feeling of overwhelm.
So if you, if you are starting to feel this way, I want you to stop, take a big breath and, um, just be present in the moment. So the first tip I'm going to give you to, to deal with this overwhelm is reflect on your why. I want you to reflect on your why as to what you're, why you're doing what you're doing.
What you want to get out of it. So if you have weight loss as a goal, then you're joined here because you want to gain weight loss. And in order to do that, we need to learn something new. So reflect on, on that reason why, [00:08:00] what is your main motivator? My why is because that I want to lead a fit and active life.
I want to age well. I want to lead a good quality life. I want to get to an age. I can, I can still be doing what I'm doing now in 20, 30, 40 years time. That is my goal. And I need to, in order to get there, uh, I need to start doing stuff now. So that is my why. And when I feel like everything's too much, it's overwhelming.
It can be overwhelming to, to start a new exercise regime. That's overwhelming because it's hard. It's hard and it's easy to stay safe, but it's not easy to stay safe in the long run. So number one, I would reflect on your why and try to start looking at the root cause of why you are actually feeling overwhelmed.
So ask yourself some questions like what is causing you to feel stressed now? What do you find hard about this? What do you find is too much about this? So ask yourself those. And once you start to ask [00:09:00] yourself those questions, you'll start to kind of see the source of it. You might start to get some answers from them.
Journaling is a big, is a big thing, and it really, really can help debunk how you're feeling, debunk some myths, all of those things. So, so journaling would be a. Great thing to do. If you're starting to feel a little bit overwhelmed, just write down how you're feeling and you'll be surprised that act of getting it out on a piece of paper, how powerful that can be.
The next tip would be accept your feelings. Don't fight them. You're feeling this way and that is okay. Overwhelm is normal. Feeling like it's all too much. It's hard. You know, we don't, we don't think we can get there. That just seems too far away. That is really, really normal. Accept these feelings. By being in denial, trying to fight it, you're just giving it more power.
So we want to, we want to accept it. Um, it is okay. Learn to go with overwhelm instead of fighting it. Uh, be like, I'm learning something new. This is actually quite exciting. I'm feeling this way, but I know it's going to be [00:10:00] better. I'm feeling this way because I need to learn this. And you're going to be able to feel a lot better if we don't face it.
It is going to bubble under the surface. It is going to bubble away and it will build up and you will end up, you know, exploding because it will just, it will just. Stay under, stay under, but bring it up. I believe that the universe, it gives us these cues on things. So, cues on these things that we need to do in life.
And if we don't start facing up to them, it'll come back in another way, until we finally learn the lesson. And it keeps coming back until, until you learn the lesson and then you move forward. And if we don't pay attention to the cues our life is giving us, Um, then it's going to keep back until it gets really, really bad.
And it will really force you, um, you know, it will really force you to stop or really for it to, you don't have a choice that you have to listen. So, um, so start paying attention to the cues and accept, accept that we're feeling this way. Uh, instead of denying the feelings that you're having, [00:11:00] acknowledge that you're having them and acknowledge the fact that you do feel overwhelmed and that is okay.
And acknowledge that you, any negative thoughts that you have. So this is a great thing to be writing out. Uh, try not to judge yourself on what you're feeling. This non judgmental acceptance, it can help reduce any feelings of shame or guilt associated with the stress that you're having. We don't need to feel shameful or guilty for any feelings that we're having.
There is no right or wrong. You are feeling the way you're feeling and that is okay. Give yourself a break. Really give yourself a break. So my third tip is practice mindfulness. We have so many, millions of things going on in our lives. And, um, it's really hard to, uh, it can be challenging to focus on the right now.
And, um, and to be present with what we're truly feeling and where we are. Where if you can develop some mindfulness practices, it can really, really help reduce the anxiety. So some practices, the, and the overwhelm. So by learning to be present in [00:12:00] the moment, it can really, really help you. Meditation is massive.
Meditation is something that I never ever I would find, um, I never thought I would love as much as I do now. It is something I never thought I could do because I was somebody that laid there, but hurry up, come on, get this done, get this done. Now I really, really love meditating and I find it. So much beneficial.
And I see people that are really stressed, my husband being one of them. And I see him and I think, Oh, you've really got to learn to meditate because it really helps keep me calm. So that's what a mindful task that I do. Movement, yoga, dancing, any of that stuff can be a mindful task. Um, there's lots of apps like Calm, Headspace, those things.
Learn to do tasks, one task at a time, instead of trying to do multiple tasks because that can feel overwhelming. I like the saying, if you think of saying a word, If it was say dog and cat. So if I spell out dog, it's D O G. If I spell cat, C A T. But if I put dog and the [00:13:00] words together and try to spell them out together, so it's D C O A G T.
So the same thing. So spelling out those two words took me double the time because I tried to put them together. So sometimes instead of doing those things, we're better just to do one thing and focus on that one thing. Mindful tasks can also be, like, it can be reading, it can be watching Netflix, it can be, um, playing a video game, so it's anything that helps you just, uh, be present in the moment and take your mind off of things.
So adding some of more things, more of those things into your life can really, really help with reducing, um, stress, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed. Uh, my fourth tip is try breathing exercises. So this is the thing that I do with my son all the time. He, um, is quite anxious and he feels overwhelmed at just some basic things quite a lot.
We, um, practice a lot of breathing exercises with him and he's learning to manage it himself now, which is So, [00:14:00] um, the best thing you can do to get you back into the present is just, just stop and take some slow breaths. When, when we feeling overwhelmed, just start to stop and start taking those slow breaths and our focus on the inhale and the exhale.
And, um, you know, just, just taking those few minutes out, uh, can really, really help. The thing that we do with my son is he, um, breathes, he has a favorite color, so his favorite color is orange. So he breathes in the color orange and he breathes out his stresses. So that's what we practice. So I'll say to him, breathe in orange.
And then he remember he remembers to breathe in the color of orange and the smell of orange and then breathe it out. Um, other things you can do is you can, um, you know, do your box breathing, which is a count for three or four breaths or five breaths, whatever you can hold, breathe that in, hold it. So you breathe in four breaths, hold for four breaths.
Breathe out for four [00:15:00] breaths, go again. So kind of do that type of thing, but breathing exercise is massive. And when you're feeling overwhelmed, it's a really, really good thing to, um, to do, to start overcoming that. My fifth tip in reducing overwhelm is focus on what you can control. It's really, it's really easy to focus on all these things that are out of your control.
And um, and really doing all this has the potential to really increase that anxiety. So we want to focus on the things that we can control. What, what is in our control, where, where we are in this present moment and just focus on that. If we're trying to think too far into the future, what if, you know, all of that stuff or I'm going to fail, I'm not going to be able to do this or just don't just focus on today.
This is your task today. This is what we need to get done. And then we take the next step forward. It's, I like to write down my thoughts. I like write down, you know, this is how I'm feeling. What's the things that are in my control and what are the things that are out of my control? The things that are in my [00:16:00] control, that's the things I can focus on.
I can make changes that way. The things that are out of my control, I can't change, so I'm wasting my energy on that. So I'm gonna focus more on the things I can control. and tweak them to where I want to be. I know it can, that's a lot easier. It's not as black and white. That's a lot easier said than done, but the practice of letting go of the things that are, you know, that are out of your control will be very worthwhile.
And it, the more, the more regularly you start to look at it, the regularly you start to do it, it will become more natural. My sixth tip for reducing overwhelm is take a break. So, in society, we, uh, in our today's society, we really don't prioritize self care. So, if weight, um, just if you, you know, you've got a goal of weight loss or any other things, when we start to feel overwhelmed, um, and it feels like too much and you can't get on top of it, remember, um, take a break.
Take a day out, take a day of not thinking about it. Take longer if you need. Because you're in this for the long haul. So this is something that we're going to work at and be [00:17:00] able to stick to forever. So take that stress away and give yourself a break. And sometimes you'll feel so much better exercise wise.
You know, some people don't like to rest, but you know what? Sometimes a rest can be more powerful than your actual workout because, um, some of the magic happens in your rest. So sometimes we need those things, so don't be scared to take a break, uh, to take a day or a few days or whatever. You need to get on top of this overwhelm, um, but be conscious not to hide, not to hide in the sand and, um, use that as an excuse not to follow through with what you're doing.
But if you need to take a moment out. do so. And I've had to done, I've done that with lots of things before. I've taken a little breaks of things and then I've been able to come back with it with a, with a fresher, the fresher, cleaner, cleaner head. When we are like intentionally setting that time aside to take breaks, uh, it can [00:18:00] reduce the amount of stress that you feel from the day to day instead of having to be on all the time.
And breaks can be as simple as, um, it can be as simple as, you know, like. Taking a night off, uh, if you're on a food plan, going off the plan for a night, you know, or a meal or, you know, watching a Netflix movie and not thinking about the things you need to do, all of those things, um, can really, really help in in overcoming, in overcoming those feelings.
My, uh, last tip is make sure that you're doing what you're enjoying. So we need to make sure that we have enjoyment in our life. Anyone that is doing a, um, like a, any diet or any of those things that people follow, when I feel like it's, It's taking all the things, all your joy out of life, you're not going to be able to stick to it.
So it has to be something we can stick to for life. So it has to be something we can stick to for life. So you can always be doing that thing. [00:19:00] That's massive. Make sure you are doing something that you enjoy or love. So you're having that joy in your life all the time. That's like when we talk about food and people say, well, for the next.
However many weeks, I'm not going to have any chocolate, you know, that's unrealistic and maybe that moment of you having chocolate is that most enjoyable part of your day or the routine of it is so, so don't give up on that part because that's what we need. Um, lots of people say they're not going to drink alcohol for, you know, for whatever length of time now, you know, again, that's fine if you don't want to drink for the rest of your life, but I really encourage you to learn how to manage it.
And to include it in your life because sometimes the times when you're out having a drink, that's a social thing and that's something that you enjoy. So that's sparking that joy that we still need in our life. When we're feeling overwhelmed, I want you to ask yourself the question, Am I doing things that I enjoy or am I just feel like every day is a grind and I'm just trying to get through, [00:20:00] take the steps to get through each day to the next one.
If you are feeling that way, then maybe we need to think about what, how can I put those things that I enjoy. back in my life. Stress does affect us all differently and sometimes it can come from personal sources, uh, like our family, our work, relationships, um, but when we really start to learn how we can stop it and ways that we can reduce this overwhelm, uh, it can reduce the anxiety and the feelings that start to pop up.
The things, I'll go through the things again, just recapping of the steps that we're going, if we're starting to feel overwhelmed, that I want you to really think about. Number one, think about why. Why are you feeling this way? What is your why, um, as to your why as to why you were doing this program, why you're being part of this?
So think about the why and why are you feeling that way? So get, get a bit deeper with that. Number two is accept your feelings. Don't try to [00:21:00] fight them. Accept that you are feeling overwhelmed and understand that when we are feeling overwhelmed, it's really, really normal. And it is, um, just a sign that we're learning.
So instead of fighting it, uh, trying to push through, accept it, uh, acknowledge the feelings, acknowledge that we are feeling overwhelmed and just learn to move forward. Third tip with practice mindfulness, uh, meditations, anything that helps you focus on just that only one task and takes your mind off everything.
Uh, number four was breathing exercises. So just taking, stopping and taking five, 10, 20 slow breaths can be such a massive game changer in, uh, stopping that overwhelming feeling and making us think we're going to give up. Five, focus on the things that you control. So what's the things you can control, what's the things you can't control.
I like to write a list. So then I can see and only focus on the things that is in your control. Um, you're waiting your energy and your power on things that are out of your control. My sixth [00:22:00] tip was take breaks. If we, uh, you need to take breaks, uh, take moments out. Um, you know, instead of being on all the time, do so because.
Sometimes that break can be the best thing for you to keep moving forward. And lastly, my seventh tip was make sure that you were doing what you enjoy. Make sure we are doing something we enjoy and we are having that joy in our life and that we're not always on the grind. It's really important to recognize some of these, recognize your feelings, recognize that you're feeling that way.
But if you are feeling this way, please don't, um, give up. All right. Don't give up. Don't be, it's all too hard. Understand that it's normal. And anybody that has got anywhere in their life has felt this way. I guarantee you, at least once, but understand that feeling overwhelmed is a sign that you are moving forward.
It is a sign that you are learning something new and you're going to able to be moved forward. If we already knew. We could already do all the [00:23:00] things that we wanted to in order to get to where we wanted to be. Be the size we wanted to be, have the figure we wanted to be, have the fitness level we wanted to be.
We would already be there. So in order to get there, you need to learn something new. So it is going to be difficult. It is going to be challenging. It is not impossible. It is going to open you up to a whole new world of understanding about you. And it's going to help you can do it and believe in yourself.
That you can feel overwhelmed and not give up. You can feel overwhelmed and just start to move forward. It is going to open us up to all of these things. And when we start to understand this stuff, uh, instead of giving up or feeling like it's all too much and going back to what feels normal to us, we are going to take it just step by step and be able to move forward.
If you are feeling overwhelmed at all. Acknowledge it, share it to the group, share it with me and understand that I am here to support you. Um, and we will get you through this and, [00:24:00] um, overwhelm is a good thing. It's learning, means you're learning something new. It's a really, really good thing.