198: How Your Words Create Your Reality

What you say to yourself becomes what you believe.
 And what you believe becomes your reality.

In this episode, we dive into one of the most underestimated forces in your wellness journey — your words. Every “I can’t,” “I’m not good enough,” or even “I’ll never change” sends powerful signals to your brain, shaping how you think, act, and feel.

You’ll learn how to:
 💭 Recognise negative self-talk patterns that hold you back
 🧠 Rewire your thoughts to support your goals
 🌿 Shift your environment by surrounding yourself with uplifting energy
 💬 Use the power of words to build confidence, calm, and growth

This isn’t just about “thinking positive.” It’s about changing the internal dialogue that shapes your entire experience — from your mindset to your results.

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Transcript

198: How Your Words Create Your Reality

[00:00:00] So our brain is wired to keep us safe, always wants to keep us safe and away from harm. And when, sometimes that, what is safe to us isn't necessarily the best thing, what is safe is what the brain disease is familiar. So what I want you to start doing over the next week is just to start recognize the power of your words.

What are the things that you were saying to yourself? Just start to notice habits. You, putting yourself down. Are you, saying you're not good enough? Are you cursing to yourself? Even, even as jokes? So what, what are the things. That you are, that you are saying to yourself. Because the more, if we are speaking more negatively about ourselves all the time, even, even as a joke, if, all of those things, your brain's gonna perceive that as truth.

It's gonna perceive that as truth, and it's gonna want to, continue with that. So I really, really want you to think that what, what we are thinking and how they come [00:01:00] across, it's really powerful. It really makes a big it. Makes a big difference when you start to see how much what we're saying and thinking really affects our overall goals and our overall well, your wellness journey.

So if you are looking to, you are looking for weight loss and you're calling yourself fat, you're saying you're not good enough., I could never do that. When, when we are constantly saying those things, then, then we're not going to your, your brain's gonna be thinking that that's the truth. And it's not the truth.

It's gonna be thinking that's the truth. So you are already making life harder for yourself. So we want to start. We wanna start recognizing the stories that we're telling ourselves. What, what are you saying to yourself about weight loss or the goal that you're looking to achieve? What are you saying to yourself about yourself?

How do you speak to yours? How do you speak about yourself to others or to people around you? We wanna have this inner confidence. [00:02:00] And confidence in your ability to, to achieve your goal and to get there. And when we are always talking negatively and, saying those things, then, then that's, that's what we are gonna portray out.

Really believe that this, in how much this makes a difference to your results and your life. And I really, a few years ago I made a really, really. Conscious effort to really, to really think about my words and really think about how I spoke and how I speak about others. And I made a conscious decision to not be around bitching.

And the, the power of your words as well is, is who you are around and who we're around and who, what we're involving ourselves in. If you are always around people that are negative and are bitching and. And saying nasty things, all that you are, that's, that's the reality that you are creating around yourself.

And before, before I made this decision, when you would be out with friends or you'd be with someone and they would start saying something negative or whatever, I would either join in or I would just, [00:03:00] so I would join in or I agree or. It really doesn't, it really doesn't help. And it's, and it's not nice.

So I really, I made this real conscious effort to, , to not, to not speak that way about, about myself or about anyone else around me. And if I'm around people that are doing that, I just remove myself from. From that situation, because, I just, I just don't want to be, I just don't wanna be like that.

And I don't think that's helpful to, to anyone. So, we really wanna think about the power of your words and how they have, have a massive influence over, over how you're feeling, over how you act and, , and, and what you're doing. And, and when we are always thinking negatively, it was.

Speaking negatively, then that's what's gonna portray out. I'll give you an example of, a friend situation I was in. And this was probably one of the biggest eye openers for me, is we went away camping in a group for someone's birthday. So we went away camping and there was, there was like people that we knew.

So one girl when we [00:04:00] got there, she, she, said hello and cornered me. There was people we also didn't know. So she corner me and started talking about, started talking about this other girl who I'd never met before, and she had this, she was bitching about her and speaking about her and, and I guess she felt there was sides and she wanted me, I guess, to take her.

I guess side on the, the situation. So she, she and even my son came up and he asked me for something, and the friend's like, Nope, I'm telling mom this story. You can't, you can't bother her. Why I'm, she continued with this and I found myself wanting to get away from her. I want to get away from her because it was just.

It, it just wasn't nice. And this, this person she was bitching about. I didn't even know her. I didn't know her and I didn't, I wasn't gonna take on that judgment of her, but I didn't, I didn't want to. I just didn't wanna hear it. So then for the rest, the rest of the time that we were camping, 'cause this per person, I guess, was in quite a negative head space, she kind of only had negative things to say.

About [00:05:00] anything. And, and I found myself trying to avoid her and she's a lovely person, but I found myself trying to avoid her 'cause I just didn't wanna be around that stuff. On the same camping trip I had another friend who I have never, ever heard her say. A bad word about anybody. Never. And she's just a really happy person.

Even if things don't go her way, I, I ha I haven't heard her say anything nasty. And I found myself more attracted to spending time with her because of, because of how she acted. And I thought, I want to be more like the friend, I wanna be more like. The, the friend that didn't have anything bad to say.

I just, I just, that's, that's the more the energy that I like, the people I wanna be around. And that makes me feel good about myself not bitching and moaning about somebody. And, and I really, and that was, one of the, the things that I really chose to, I really chose from that point to take that on [00:06:00] board and to make that the, my choice in how, in how I acted.

I just thought, and, and I'm really conscious of what I say. I think, and the, the thing that I always, um, I teach my kids all the time is if you have to say something bad about somebody else, that is how you are feeling about yourself. So if you have to say something bad about yourself. That is probably how you're feeling about yourself inside, because somebody that is truly happy and confident and content with themselves, they don't need to say anything negative and they don't, and I just made this conscious choice from that.

That weekend was a big eye-opener with that because I just don't wanna be around people like that. So I want you to think about. How are you speaking and who are you spending your time with, and how are you speaking about yourself, people around you, and, and is it really nice? Is it really serving you?

Is it really nice? Is it really getting you to where you wanna be? I [00:07:00] understand things frustrate me. Yes, they do. I am not perfect. And yes, things annoy me and they frustrate me, but I really make a choice. I really make a conscious choice to, to not bitch and moan and all that all the time because I, I don't think it helps anybody.

I don't think it helps anybody. Sometimes when I'm really, really frustrated at things I like, I like to write it out, get my pen and my paper, and I write it out. I, I can, I'll say to my husband, I'm feeling upset about this, or I'm frustrated at this, and that's fine because we, we've gotta get those frustrations out because yes, we do.

But, but I think if we spend our life bitching and moaning. And all that about people, that that is what your brain's seeing and the world around you is like, so, so let's, let's think about the power of your words, so the power of your words and how we can really change, change to ourselves to be in a more positive mindset.

I'll give you another example. I had, a couple years ago I had my gran move in with us, and this was just for short [00:08:00] term, so it was for six months. And it was stressful. It was stressful. My gran is my best friend. I adore my gran. She's amazing. It just, she was, going through a hard, she was elderly and like having to change.

She moved states and whatever else, so it was rough for her, but it was also fitting, fitting in the dynamic of our house with children and whatever. And at the same point, she, she moved in with us 'cause my parents were building a house, so it was quite stressful. And, uh, I adore, adore my grand and so I wanted to do all the right things by her, but it was quite difficult to, to juggle my children, my husband and, and my business and everything trying.

So I, I did find it really hard. But I knew it was only short term and I wanted to do the very, very best for her because I knew, I knew that it was difficult for her to move here. So I knew, I knew all of that, but it was stressful. But I made this decision, even though I knew it was stressful, I made this decision that I wasn't gonna speak about it in that way.

That I wasn't gonna speak about it being horrible or stressful, uh, or [00:09:00] any of those things. I was only gonna speak about it positively because that's what I wanted. I wanted the experience to be more positive and, to come a, to come across that way. So, yeah, so I made, I made that decision. And during the, the time that she was here, I didn't, and I also knew that if I, if I started, and I only know this from experience, and if I started.

Saying one, like a negative thing. I knew it would kind of open up a, or if I started admitting it was really stressful and I knew it would then start to open up a, a whole other thing, and I didn't want that. So I chose to only speak about it positively and it definitely, it definitely affected. The rest, the, the time that she was here.

And I wouldn't, I wouldn't want to have spoken about It was, yes, it was stressful, but that's, but I wouldn't wanna have spoken about it negatively because I think that that then would've skyrocketed, of the, of those types of feelings. So I just want you to really think about how powerful your words are and you know how powerful that line of thinking can, can be.

And it can set you on a, it can really [00:10:00] set you on, on a not a great trajectory. Now in all of this, I, like I'm, I'm not saying don't, like, yes, we, we do feel negative. There is times we can feel down or whatever, but the, the choice is in how quickly you get back up and you keep moving forward.

So I'll give you another example. My son broke his leg and during my son broke his leg and it was, it was horrible when he broke his leg. For the first week, he was awake every night crying. When my son broke his leg, we didn't realize that he'd broken his leg. So we, we didn't realize that he'd broken his leg.

So we left him for two hours. We were playing, we were on soccer. We were on soccer field, and we made him sit there for two hours with a broken leg before we took him to the hospital. So we felt really guilty. We felt really guilty about that. So my husband in his. , Guilt, I guess. He more went introvert, so he went into himself and he withdrew where Cooper really needed us at that time.

And so I was really tired. I was still trying to run [00:11:00] my business, get, my daughter to school, get all those other things sorted, and Lee was kind of just feeling. He was feeling crap about the situation, but he wasn't helping. And I was getting frustrated. I was frustrated at him and I was frustrated at, I was getting frustrated at Cooper, because he couldn't go the toilet himself.

He, he couldn't do anything. He, he, um, he was hurting, he was awake every two hours needing pain medication. And I was, I was frustrated and I knew I was getting frustrated and cranky, and that wasn't what was gonna help anybody in the situation. And again, I've only learnt this. From experience then, uh, wrote.

Decided to write to put Cooper to bed. And I wrote out how I was feeling. So I acknowledged that I was feeling frustrated. I was feeling angry, and even though it wasn't Cooper's fault, it, all of those things I acknowledged, I wrote it out, I acknowledged all of those feelings, and I just got it out of my head.

I stopped letting it live in [00:12:00] here. I got it all out of my head. And this is why I love journaling so much. I got it all out of my head, and I knew this. Because I didn't wanna go to bed and wake up in the morning and feel the same way. And again, the only reason I know this is because I've done it before, because I've went to bed and been like, it'll be fine in the morning, and got up in the morning and still had those feelings.

So I was like, I need to get this out. I need to get it out and get it on paper because I don't wanna keep taking it with me. And so this is what I want. I want you to be get this awareness. Oh, and when I did, I woke up in the morning and I was fine. I, like, I just need to get it out. I needed to get it out, but I didn't need to get it out by being angry or bitching or any of those things.

I needed to just acknowledge how I felt, except that I felt frustrated and, in, in the situation I was in, and again, it was no one's, it was no one's fault. But I acknowledged all of that. And I felt, I felt fine in the morning and I could carry on with everything and, and get through, get through everything.

Okay. A lot better because I, because I'd cleared, I'd got it outta my head. And that's what I'm asking. I [00:13:00] want you to think about your words, so the power of your words, they're very powerful and we just wanna think about what we are thinking. What are the stories we are telling ourselves? What are, what are these things?

What are we saying about ourselves all the time? And how are we dealing with these situations? And so when we can start to become umno, acknowledge this, start to become aware, then, then we can look at changing it. We can look at changing it because trust me, trust me, it really holds you back.

It takes over and we only, we only want to, we give ourselves enough of a hard time that, you know, in our heads and we want to we wanna give ourselves the best chances of, of, feeling good about ourselves, having also the energy and getting the results that you're looking for.